#notetoself

I lost a great father-figure in my life, 17 days ago I lost someone who showers me with endless love, 17 days ago I never imagined my life after you leaving us, Atuk. It hits me hard, today. Home without you is not complete as always.  No more getting your random jokes when we're about to eat.  No more saying I love you before sleep. No more looking forward for your duit pencen.  No more someone to look up at me in a proud way. Atuk, my 4 flat was for you. ... I does not have the courage to continue. I miss you, Atuk. I love you, forever.  

 My heart break pieces today but not a single sorry I get from him. To all people out there, be kind and talk nice always. You never know which topic and which parts of your wordings that could be a knife to other person.  I am very insecure with my appearance. My face, my outfit and other things related to my appearance. You can give opinion nicely for me to improve my outfit, yes of course you can and I welcomed. I welcomed my friend to comment on my outfit on that day, if there is anything I could improve because the insecurities I felt. But commenting harshly is not a way.  I am trying hard to be in this phase again, to change myself to become a better person in the future. To be the old Najihah that could take good care of her outfit, I miss my old self. But you, you destroy everything on this very first day of the new year.  It was my hardest tear after a very long time. Thank you for bringing it back to me. Despite all that negative things, thank you, Allah. F...